We’ve all encountered situations that make us feel ashamed at work. Maybe you got a bad review from your boss or dropped the ball on an important project. How can you stop shame from holding you back?
- Identify whether you can learn from it. Sometimes shame is justified, indicating that you need to make a healthy change—for example, developing ways to be more timely and organized to achieve your goals. Other times, when you feel ashamed about something you can’t change—for example, being let go due to a reorganization—the shame is unjustified. In those cases, you have to let it go.
- Track it. Keep a log of when you feel self-conscious and prone to self-criticism. Use this to generate a list of incidents or comments that tend to incite shame for you. Putting words to your feelings in this way will get you into a problem-solving frame of mind.
- Rely on supportive, healthy relationships. Opening up to others exposes you to compassion and makes it easier for you to be compassionate with yourself. You’re not alone, and in relationships you’ll find that other people experience the feelings you’re struggling with, too.
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